Sneak Peak

If you got a goofy tooth

Longer than a finger

And it precludes you from eating cobbed corn

Or being a famous singer

Don't let anyone disparage 

You or your goofy tooth

You still have things to offer

That's the honest truth

Maybe you can help them

Open up a can

And maybe you can use your tooth 

To scare away a mean old man

I hope you keep your tooth

Until you’re very old

You can hand it down to your kids

If you get it coated in gold!

A trisket a trasket 

Put the lotion in the basket

I went to town to call my love

But the phone line was down

So I left town and headed on around

To the next town where the water was brown

And I drank some of that water and got pink eye

And pink throat and pink everything

and the saw bones said he'd have to take my leg

And I bit down on a spoon

While some poor man's Billy Joel 

Played a tired tune at the local saloon

Then we buried my leg in a sand dune

And saved the rest of me for boot hill

And now instead of running anywhere

I just stand still 

Of all the demons I could have asked for

You're the hardest to keep in check

Symbiotic now

To kill you is to kill me

So much of my anatomy 

Overgrown with your thorns

But I think I've found an antidote

I may not be able to kill you

But I can keep you at bay

I can play my demons against each other

The politician’s way

Teaching old me new tricks

The taste of blood fades

With fewer wounds to lick 

Give it a kick

Give it a toss

Give it a squeeze

Show it who's boss

Give it a rub out 

Give it a blow 

Give it a tug

Tell it no

Put up a struggle

Put up a row

Put up a poster

So everyone will go 

If you show up in joots and jorts 

I will serve you finest tort

If you run by in matching track suit

I will serve you marrow and suet

If you sport a cap while making haste

I will serve you turkey's baste

If you make haste while sporting cap

I will serve you milk from tap

If you beat tracks whilst donning jeans

I will serve you richest creams

If you come hither wearing Spanx

I will serve you roasted shanks

If you arrive in sportsman's coat

I will serve you banana float

Fairest maiden wouldst thou go

Aboard the ship then down below

A secret tryst, remove thy clothes

Unleash your woman as manhood grows

Bend thy spine to see the port 

Alas you are a savory tort!

With wit and wile to match your rear

Such kiss and touch and nibbled ear

So sit you coyly on that bench

And meet my kiss, you fearless wench

And whence this poem has reached the end

I implore you, start again!